aired 10/1/07

Red Eye starts as soon as I finish making this sex tape. Ready or not, Eduardo, here I come. Kidding of course! I'm totally hetero.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like The Hills but without the burning and itching.

INTROS:

Courtney Friel, if beauty were acne she'd be all over my shoulders and back.

Bill Schulz, my grotesque sidekick. Wearing French cuffs today I might add.

Michael Loftus, if hilarity were a pogo stick I'd bounce up and down on him all day.

Kevin Godlington, if perceptive commentary were potatoes, I bet he'd be great in the sack.

Will Leitch, if intelligence were biscuits and gravy I'd go down South just to eat him.

To the Gregalogue, it has a sandbox for kids.

Andy likes to lure and then abandon children into the woods with his close friend Peter Falk. (Andy: CBo loves the Brothers Grimm)

RE-INTROS:

Courtney Friel, if beauty were an onion I'd cry while chopping her to pieces

Michael Loftus, if hilarity were cheerios I'd eat him for breakfast every morning probably with sliced bananas and lots of milk dribbling down my delightful chin.

Bobbie Sue Luther, it talent were the moon astronauts would travel hundreds of thousands of miles just to probe her.

Will Leitch, if intelligence were a trashcan, I'd toss my junk in him.