Episode #?: aired Sept 30

Red Eye starts as soon as I unlock this cage. Who knew bondage gear could be so technical?

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Countdown but without the cleansing mixture of vinegar and water.

INTROS:

Suzanne Sena, if beauty were an ace bandage she'd be all over my joint

Bill Schulz, he's my grotesque sidekick

Greg Proops, if jokes were milk he'd come in a carton. possibly a jug. maybe even a gallon. [fun fact: I meant "'if jokes were milk, he'd come in a carton' or maybe it'd be funnier if it were 'if jokes were milk, he'd come in a jug' or maybe you want to go with 'if jokes were milk, he'd come by the gallon.'" such is the risk in texting intros. then again, this could have been a deliberate choice.]

Jerry Casale, if genius were dentures I'd never take him out of my mouth.

Lis Wiehl, if legal expertise were a broken down car I'd service her on the side of the road.

To the Greg-alogue, it's got a sun roof.

Andy loves to tamper with the brakes on wheelchairs with his good friend Angela Lansbery. (Andy: Abery don't like cripples.)

RE-INTROS:

Suzanne Sena, if beauty were a horse it'd be important to get right back on her if you fell off.

Greg Proops, if jokes were scope I'd gargle with him nightly.

Jerry Casale, if genius were vodka he'd be inside me right now

Lis Wiehl, if legal brilliance were an oath I'd take her in a courtroom.