Red Eye starts as soon as I finish my knitting. Wool thongs don't itch, do they?
Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Friday Night Lights, but we skip right to the showers.
INTROS:
Will Durst, if hilarity were a crossword puzzle, I'd do him on a toilet.
Bill Schulz, my grotesque sidekick.
Drew Curtis, if incisive commentary were an electric fan, I'd let him blow me in hot weather.
Anna Gilligan, if beauty and talent were a keg, I'd tap her at a party and share her with friends.
Kimberly Bell, if sexiness were a carousel we'd all wait in line to ride her.
Andrew likes to cut the brake cables of school buses with his good friend Peter Falk (Andy: CBo don't like whiny little brats, Greg)
RE-INTROS:
Will Durst, if with and wisdom were my nose he'd be sitting on my face.
Drew Curtis, if brains were a delightful breakfast I'd eat him in bed.
Noelle Hancock, if beauty were a broken vending machine I'd bang her until she gave me what I wanted.
Sprague Grayden, if sexiness were a Matzo ball, I'd eat her on Passover
Debra Weeks, if hot video were chocolate syrup I would squirt her all over my body.
10/22/2007
aired 10/5/07
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3 comments:
Hey Alison, do you have one of these intros that would apply to the show itself? I'd love to be able to reference the show itself with one:
Red Eye - if comedy were X, this show would Y.
Unfortunately, anything I try ends up missing the target and playing on the speaker, not the show. Also, I'm not funny. And stealing a real intro doesn't seem to work since they're phrased for people, not objects.
So if you have a line, I'd love to be able to reference the show to people by framing it with the appropriate joke.
Welcome to Red Eye. Its like being Touched by an Angel... A Hell's Angel...
--or--
Welcome to Red Eye. Its like being Touched by an Angel only we are not angels
Allison,
If you wrote this one...very funny!
Red Eye starts as soon as I finish my knitting. Wool thongs don't itch, do they?
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How about Red Eye starts as soon as I finish my Rubik's Cube....Oh hell with it I'll never finish my Rubik's Cube.
Red Eye, its like Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories, only a stickier of an icky.
Red Eye, its like getting crabs only theres no medicine to stop the itch. Just ask Bill...
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