Episode #??: aired Sept 26/27

Red Eye starts as soon as I disguise this household cleaner as fruit punch. God I hate kids.

Welcome to Red Eye it's like 24 but it's two 12 year olds

INTROS:

Julie Banderas if beauty were a subway I'd ride her after a long night of drinking, probably with my friends.

Bill Schulz, my grotesque sidekick.

Nick Gillespie, if brains were a video game I'd play with him until my thumbs hurt.

Joe Devito, if jokes were hard candy I'd suck on him while driving.

Dana Vachon, if charm were a giant hoagie I'd have trouble getting him inside my mouth.

to the greg-alogue, there's face painting!

Andy likes to set booby traps for cub scouts with his good friend Angela Lansbery. (Andy: ABery don't like goodie two shoes, yo)

RE-INTROS:

Julie Banderas, if beauty were a necklace made of rotten flowers she'd be a lousy lei

Nick Gillespie, a publication I enjoy reading while loitering near a public restroom dressed as Nick Gillespie

Joe Devito, if jokes were food poisoning he'd keep me up all night moaning.

Dana Vachon, if charm was my prized hummingbird feeder, he'd be well hung and full of seed.

Christine Laken, if talent and beauty were a warm jacket, I'd hang her from a hook in my closet.