Episode ?: aired Sept 25

Red Eye starts as soon as I reheat this Hot Pocket, it's been under my bed for a week.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Gilmore Girls, but with more tongue.


Patti Ann Browne, if beauty and brains were whiskers, I'd wake up with her on my face.

Bill Schulz, my grotesque sidekick

Earthquake, if jokes were ben gay he'd be all over my jock.

Alison Rosen, if wit were an artificial hip, she'd be inside my grandmother's pelvis.

Kevin Godlington, if intelligence were a washing machine, I'd put a dirty load inside him.

To the Gregalogue it's bat and helmet day for those under 14

Andy likes to pummel the elderly with his good friend Angela Lansbery (Andy: ABery don't like competition, yo)


Patti Ann Browne, if beauty were potpourri, I'd stick her in my smelly drawers.

Earthquake, if jokes were a swimming pool I'd splash around in his deep end.

Alison Rosen, if brains were sneakers, I'd make sure her tongue was in the right place and then tie her up.

Kevin Godlington, if bravery were Domino's Pizza, I'd be very frustrated if he didn't come within 30 minutes.

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