He's so funny…

So funny that he's been arrested twice for starting a laugh riot

So funny that he cracks up English bobbies. They think he's jolly good and brilliant when he takes the piss

So funny that when his friends say drop me a line, he sends them punch lines!

So funny that funny babies prefer his comedy to breast milk

So funny that you shouldn't drink any fluids for about 6 hours before seeing him

so funny that he is to comedy as puppies are to adorable

so funny that he is to comedy as I am to sexiness

so funny that a massage from her is called comic relief, with happy ending

So funny that it's not even funny.

So funny that he'll make you chuckle, chortle, guffaw, snort, whinny, giggle and snicker. in that order!

so funny that doctors in yucaipa california wanted to rename the funny bone the [guest name] bone

so funny that all his bones are funny bones

so funny that he'll make you laugh so hard you'll puke out your eyeballs

so funny that if he were any funnier I'd send him a note, probably a shoebox greeting, that said excuse me but could you please try to be less funny? Then if he didn't respond within five to seven business days I'd have him killed. And then I'd laugh, because that was a really funny guy I just killed!


So funny that the other night he walked into a bar and the bartender said "I'm sorry, we don't serve funny people," and he couldn't get a drink all night!

So funny it's tough to be in public with him because people are always coming up to him and laughing.

So funny that if you told him your problems he'd probably just make a bunch of jokes. You wouldn't feel any better, you might feel worse actually, but you'd walk away thinking wow, that guy's really funny.

So funny that if he had personalized license plates they'd say Ffunny. He'd wish that said funny but that was already taken.

So funny that when he dies he's donating his organs to comedy.

so funny he's funnier than a rubber chicken with a fake arrow through its head stuffed into a whoopie cushion and then left in the backseat of a volkswagon filled with clowns

Funnier than a baby sleep farting

So funny that he's been arrested twice for starting a laugh riot

So funny that his first words were "knock knock"

So funny that immediately after being born he said "take my midwife, please"

So funny he's funnier than a 12 spit takes and 14 pratfalls

So funny he's funnier than a clown slipping on a banana peel and falling into a pool of fake vomit

Funnier than stoners trying to pretend they aren't stoned

Funnier than that funny guy who says "is this running local?" in a crowded elevator

Same as above but substitute "moo" or "do you smell that?"

So funny that if laughter was the best medicine, he'd be a doctor. Sadly it's not, penicillin is, and he's just a comedian.

So funny that he was given an honorary degree from clown college

So funny he graduated early from clown college

So funny that me makes me R.O.T.F.L.M.A.O. (or just LMAO)

So funny that he totally makes me L.O.L.!

So funny that he doesn't even have to use emoticons. People just know he's joking!

So funny that if jokes were garlic cloves, he'd be 100 percent vampire-free

So funny that when he knocks, people always say "who's there?"

So funny that he could run over you in a golf cart and you'd think "hey, a really funny guy just ran over me with a golf cart! that's so funny"

So funny that he's often called upon to provide the in flight entertainment on transatlantic flights

He's so funny that if jokes could cure cancer, he'd be a miracle worker. Sadly jokes can't cure cancer, but his are still very funny

So funny that if jokes could cure feline aids, everyone would bring him their cats

So funny that if this were a movie, the part of him would be played by a whoopie cushion

So funny he'll make you shoot milk out your nose, even if you aren't drinking milk