She's so hot…

so hot she causes my glasses to fog up, and I don't even wear glasses!

so hot that if she were to put on one of those hypercolor tshirts, which are the ones that change colors, it wouldn't even change colors, it would just melt

so hot that she confuses mood rings

so hot firemen try to put her out. its funny the first few times it happens and you're hanging out with her but then it just gets annoying

so hot she could wear a retainer or headgear and she'd still be hot

so hot she's hotter than a kiln—it's what potters bake their clay in, and it's very hot

so hot she can cook hot pockets just by holding them

so hot she had to have her apartment zoned for hotness

so hot she can restart cars simply by holding the jumper cables

so hot she sets off smoke alarms. it's actually quite socially debilitating

so hot she's hotter than a bunson burner and a franklin stove combined

so hot we tried to take a photo of her using thermal infrared imaging and the machine blew up

so hot she makes my hair frizz. and girlfriend, you do not want to see that.

so hot the creators of that website hot or not briefly considered calling it [name] or not

She's so hot that it's physically impossible for her to build a snowman.

so hot if she ran a fever she would explode

so hot she explodes on contact

so hot her skin sticks to leather furniture, even in the winter. it's so painful that she cries tears which evaporate instantly, because she's so hot

so hot she cries lava

so hot that just standing next to her is giving me a heat rash

so hot that she just calls a heat rash a rash

she's so hot she's been banned from ice skating rinks and ski slopes because she's a liability

so hot that if you look up hot in the dictionary you'd just see a burn mark from where the picture of her caught on fire

so hot she's flammable

so hot she'll never know the joy of flame retardant camping gear

so hot that in the event of a blackout, all you need is her. and a shortwave radio and some peanut butter, but that's just good sense.

so hot she can say words like crust, moist, scab and rabies and still I'm aroused. Okay fine, those words always have that effect on me.

she's so hot she makes sports fans lose interest in the game. especially if that game is croquet.

so hot she melts computers

she's so hot she glows in the dark

she's so hot scientists are applying for grants to study her right this very minute

she's so hot she makes hot chocolate look like chocolate milk... really cold chocolate milk

she's so hot she makes milk coagulate

She's so hot just looking at her makes me lose interest in my hobbies. My hobbies are sudoku and some light knitting, if you're wondering (or: my hobbies are the word jumble and tickle fights, if you're wondering)

so hot you need tongs to handle her

She's so hot that it would be physically impossible for her to burn her mouth drinking hot chocolate even if it was heated up to a million degrees!

She's so hot that clothes melt right off her

So hot she turns meat to jerky just by looking at it

So hot she makes you want to take off your clothes and then remove your skin (and beat yourself with it)

So hot the cops are looking for her right now

So hot she gives other hot people eating disorders. It's sad.

So hot she melts cassette tapes. I just lost Aerosmith's Greatest Hits.

So hot you could fry an egg on her face.

So hot she's responsible for global warming

so hot she confuses thermoses

so hot she makes tierra del fuego look like tierra del frio

so hot lizards and turtles want to sun themselves on her face

so hot she could spontaneously combust any minute now

so hot there's a waiting list just to talk to her. I was told I'm next in line. keep your fingers crossed, people

so hot she turns frozen yogurt into soup

so hot she turns Antarctica into soup.

so hot mechanics can't even look under her hood

so hot she puts to bed the question of if it's the heat or the humidity. it's neither, it's [name]!

so hot people around her don't even ask whether it's the heat or the humidity. they just drop dead.

so hot people around her don't even ask whether it's the heat or the humidity, they just fall in love.

so hot volcanoes refuse to be photographed next to her

so hot baby booms can be traced back to her, if you know what I'm saying

so hot she causes surges in the population

so hot she'll melt your hard drive

She's so hot she makes things evaporate on contact especially but not limited to pants

so hot she'll melt your credit cards

so hot she makes tea kettles spontaneously whistle

so hot you could apply her to your soft-tissue injuries to promote faster healing

so hot you need tongs to handle her

so hot she'll destroy your perishables

so hot she'll melt your perishables

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